A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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Angie Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Angie, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready
Angie: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Angie its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Angie, do you want to phone?
Angie: "I'll phone my friend Jane back home in Texas."
(ringing)
Jane (a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Jane, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Angie here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Angie's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Angie."
Angie: "Jane, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Jane: "Oh Gees, Angie that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Angie: "You think?"
Jane: "I'm sure."
Angie: " Thanks Jane." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Angie?"
Angie: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Angie: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Angie: "Yes fairly, Jane's a sound bet."
Regis: "Angie.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Angie."
(clapping)
That night Angie calls round to Jane and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Angie turns to Jane and asks "Tell me Jane, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Jane: "Listen Angie, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready
Angie: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Angie its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Angie, do you want to phone?
Angie: "I'll phone my friend Jane back home in Texas."
(ringing)
Jane (a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Jane, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Angie here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Angie's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Angie."
Angie: "Jane, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Jane: "Oh Gees, Angie that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Angie: "You think?"
Jane: "I'm sure."
Angie: " Thanks Jane." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Angie?"
Angie: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Angie: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Angie: "Yes fairly, Jane's a sound bet."
Regis: "Angie.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Angie."
(clapping)
That night Angie calls round to Jane and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Angie turns to Jane and asks "Tell me Jane, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Jane: "Listen Angie, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
This is really funny!
Very Funny Animated Gifs Part 2 - The most amazing home videos are here
If I made you laugh please feel free to leave a nice comment and browse my blog for my laugh medicines.
Cremate Me
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."
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